Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
