You made me cry and you don't even care
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
