dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
