Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
