cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Panties = found
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize