If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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