just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
