Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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