you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
