i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
