he shaved USA in his pubs
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
