it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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