How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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