woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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