I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
