You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
