You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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