life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
