How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
