the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
