Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
