didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
