i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
