Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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