wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
