i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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