she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
