Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
