Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
