Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
