do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
