i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
