Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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