Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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