But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
