I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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