it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
