i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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