Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
