We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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