Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
