Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
false alarm, still single
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