i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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