I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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