I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
