Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
