Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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