return my video game
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
