I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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