11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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