Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
