I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think people are normalizing furries
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
